Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: (Ray Dillinger)
Subject: The Cat's Diary

Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture.

I fear I may be going insane.
Yesterday, I ate a houseplant.
Tomorrow I may eat another.