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The specter of doom and destruction is hovering over civilization as we know it, in the form of the horrible y2k total breakdown threat. But fear not. Rationality will prevail: the solution is as simple as it is elegant. Due to pervasive irrationality, our calendar is based on the birth of some irrational religious collectivist cult leader. But in realizing this, the solution to our dilemma presents itself with thundering clarity: replace Jesus calendars with Rand calendars! By founding our calendars on the birth of Rand rather than the birth of Jesus, we will buy ourselves another 2000 (1902 to be exact) years to prepare for and solve the y2k problem. And by that time it won't matter, because there won't be any computers anymore anyway, we will all be using various forms of self-directed quantum-cognitive thought materialization and matter transmission processes.
But, you say, current society will not accept replacing Jesus with Rand? My point exactly. While the rest of the world collapses under the weight of irrationality and religion, we, the Keepers of Reason, shall retreat to a remote resort or gulch or something, where we create a new society based on the new calendar. I mean, can you say Apollo Shrugged? (or whomever)
Now, this plan, simple and elegant as it is (ahem) may appear drastical and highly radical - indeed, utterly Randical. Therefore we need to ground it properly in our present reality, which we may accomplish only by considering the total context in all its dynamic, cohesive, and spatio-temporal intermingling ramifications. As Zen Triadbarra established in his seminal work, Ayn Rand: The Etruscan Rascal (Zensylvania State of Mind Press, 1995), the essential aspect of Rand's methodology was a fundamental adherence to contextual totality achieved by sophisticated technologies involving dialectical engineering, triadic recombination, and small microscopical entities. A domain to be further explored in his forthcoming work: Total Combustion: Triad By Fire (an extensive study of spontaneous syllogistic self-combustion, the ultimate form and expression of materialistic reductionism).
While it remains highly doubtful that this genuinely randical work will be accepted, appreciated or even abbreviated by The Clergy, in particular its esteemed leader, His Rational Highness, Pope of Reason, Peon Leakoff I, one must keep gently but firmly in mind that each and every important truth started out in the form of eccentric speculation, radical ruckus and bio-organic waste products generated by and excreted from the gastrointestinal tracts of very large mammalian animals. Therefore, the fertility quotient and truth value of any new idea is and must be determined by the idea itself and by an intransigent, no-holds-barred application of TCA (Total Context Adherence, aka grokking) as indicated above, and cannot be settled by acts of obedience or submission to The Clergy. Only thus may The Fiery Triad (Reality, Truth, and Dialectics) prevail.
So, as you can now clearly see for yourself, the y2k problem can and must be solved by the R2k. However, I urge you to consider that time is short. The R2k solution must be implemented immediately, or else Jesus and the computers will cook us all. In order to help establishing the R2k solution, you must copy and forward this article to all your friends immediately, and ask them to do the same. Do your du.., eh, serve your self-interest today! This iron chain of Reason and Progress must not be broken! Pump the iron chain NOW! HURRY UP!! Go! Go! One more!
Thomas Gramstad is the World Authority on synthetic and applied randicalism.
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